The One Thing Needful
January 30th, 2014We all have our moments of realizations. I’ve had one today. I am out of town at the moment and was not able to make it to an Orthodox church, so I stayed home and listened to one of Fr. Tom Hopko’s podcasts. This particular one was titled: Loving God with All Your Strength: Performing Deeds of Mercy. I will link to it below if anyone desires to listen to it. Fr. Tom talks about how faith is nothing without works. It is dead. How our faith is not real or strong without deeds of love and mercy shown to others, how we need to love our neighbors, our brethren, whether they are someone really close to us or the person we would consider our worst enemy. Our faith is nothing without love, our faith is love. Loving God and loving each other. Without this we are nothing. We need to show our faith, feed our faith, through acts of love. I have come to realize how unfaithful I am, how selfish, self centered, unloving… How far away from God I really am. Sure I attend church, I love church, I love the people from church, but that doesn’t cut it. Not by a long shot. I may love my church and family and help them out, but when it comes to other people; people on the streets I tend to look the other way. Walking through Ann Arbor and turning my head and ignoring the people sitting in the cold, it is not a pleasant feeling. I am filled with guilt at my lack of mercy and compassion, expecting that other people will do something for them and that I don’t need to do anything. One time I did give money to a man sitting on the street, and the joy that filled my soul was indescribable, and yet I never did it again. Why? I have no idea. One thing I know for sure is that I don’t like feeling this way, and I need to do something about it. I need to devote more time to others, and not think of myself. Not think as much about worldly things, and do things for people not expecting anything in return. Whether it is helping babysitting kids so that their mom can get a break, or buying coffee for people who are sitting on the street corners. Even little things like cleaning up the house for mom cause I know she’s stressed, or just spending time with my brother instead of spending time sitting in my room messing around on the internet.
I’ve made a lot more things more important than my faith, and I see that now. I have put school, getting a job, earning money, and my social life above my faith, and that needs to change. There are things I can, and need, to do that will help me. Praying more for a start, having a regular time for praying and devotions. Reading the scriptures, and doing catechism. Eliminating things that distract me from God from my life. Getting rid of clothes and junk that I don’t use. There is so much I can do, but I will need help. Pride is one of my biggest faults, and so asking for help is one of the hardest things for me to do. But it is a step I need to take, no matter how hard it is.
I need to learn how to truly love Christ, open myself to him and let him work in and through me. So, that I can love truly and deeply, so that I can love others as myself because they are me. They are what makes me. I want to learn how to live for others and not myself. Let the journey begin.
Link to Fr. Tom’s podcast: http://www.ancientfaith.com/specials/hopko_lectures/loving_god_with_all_your_strength